Kris Vallotton • September 20, 2022

Why You Never Outgrow Your Role as a Son or Daughter

PEDESTALS AND PLATFORMS

So often we place leaders on pedestals and platforms; assuming they are perfect and polished as if their status is unreachable and their knowledge is unattainable. But, the truth is no great leader ever outgrows their needs for a father. Yet, we live in a world where fathers are often out of the picture; leaving society to feel like a proverbial orphanage with children that don’t know how to operate as sons and daughters. Therefore lacking direction and guidance and isolating themselves from the real connection they are designed for and need in order to thrive.

So what keeps us from receiving input from trusted fathers in our lives? I’d propose that often we became too concerned with what they will think that we don’t allow them to see the real, raw parts of our humanity. The fear of failure or devastating disappointment often becomes the louder voice echoing in our hearts rather than the truth that you are placed in a secure position as a son or daughter. The truth is, sons and daughters make mistakes not because their intentions are bad, but because they are learning the lessons of life. If you allow the fear of failure to resound louder than the truth of who you are you will be left crippled in your worries rather than liberated in your destiny. We need a world of sons and daughters to position themselves as children in order to receive from mothers and fathers. 

I recently sat down for a conversation with one of the top leaders in the Bethel environment, Steve Moore. As we were talking he made the statement,“ You can’t experience the fullness of love from someone unless you allow yourself to be fully known and fully seen.” It is so true, if you continue to create scenarios in your head that become messages of fear you will lack the connection you were created for - isolated on insecurity island and prone to an inadequate amount of identity affirmation that is tested, tried, and secured in our failings

LEARNING HOW TO REMAIN A SON

RETURNING HOME FROM THE PROVERBIAL ORPHANAGE

So how do we move from the proverbial orphanage to pledged sonship? I’d propose that you must first posture your heart in humility and remain teachable in nature. Often we don’t receive the gift of a father because we never learned how to be “fathered.” Philippians 2:3 explains to us what it means to walk in true humility. It is not thinking poorly of yourself, but rather recognizing the giftings that God has given other people. When you see the gold in other people, you can see what it is that they have that can be a blessing to your own life and are able to then receive from them. 

How have you remained seated as a son or daughter? I would love to hear in the comments below how you have positioned yourself to be able to receive from mothers and fathers in your life. 

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