Kris Vallotton • April 13, 2018

How to Inoculate Yourself (and Your Children) Against Entitlement

This twenty-first-century generation is the most creative, innovative and inventive generation ever to have graced this planet. They will cure cancer, eradicate poverty and create a global community that embraces and perpetuates peace . . . or they will utterly fail. I have a sense that if this generation (and if you’re reading this that includes you) doesn’t inoculate against entitlement, it will sabotage our potential success. You may think that’s a bit extreme but allow me to explain my thoughts with a personal story.


CHRISTMAS IN THE VALLOTTON HOME

Christmas has always been the most celebrated holiday in our family. We did not have a lot of money when our kids were growing up, but we always did our best to make sure that each of our children had at least one really great gift under the Christmas tree. Now, we have eight grandchildren, and our financial situation has improved dramatically. Our celebrations have taken on sort of an air-of-prosperity that at times seemed a little overboard and dysfunctional to me.

The whole thing came to a climax at Christmas 2012. That year, each of our children and grandchildren gave Kathy a “Christmas want list,” as has been our tradition for more than three decades. But unlike most years, where Kathy would sift through the list and choose a few things for each person, she instead decided to get them everything on all their lists.

By the time Christmas Day arrived, the tree had literally disappeared beneath the gifts that were stacked to the ceiling. Morning came early and we gathered around the Christmas tree and began to tell the Baby Jesus story. The narrative concluded and I began to give out the gifts. Nearly two hours passed as wrapping paper slowly filled every empty spot on the floor. Suddenly, a whimper to my left broke ranks with our laughter…



SEEDS OF ENTITLEMENT

…the room grew strangely silent. I noticed that my daughter was whispering a strong correction to one of her children. This child got up from the floor, cheeks streaming with tears, mumbling defiantly all the way to the bedroom. I immediately questioned the child’s mother to determine what had caused the outburst, and I learned that “Grandma missed one gift” from the child’s Christmas list.

“But we bought the kid fifteen presents!” I protested.
“I know, Dad. Don’t worry about it,” my daughter responded.
Kathy retreated to our office and a minute later re-emerged with her Christmas lists in her hand. “I did forget one gift,” she said with compassion. “I’m so sorry,” she explained, while choking back tears. Trying to smooth the situation over, she added, “I’ll go tomorrow and buy the gift I missed.”

The rest of the family joined in on my protest, reassuring her that the child needed to get over it.

I was furious inside but I kept my mouth shut, not wanting to ruin Christmas for everyone else. However, Christmas was wrecked for me! I could not go to sleep that night. I just lay there reflecting on my grandchild’s attitude and musing over our failure to instill gratitude in them.

In our quest to bless our family, we had unknowingly sown seeds of entitlement into the soil of their little hearts for years. I determined to fix the problem. I wanted no part in raising spoiled brats who would grow up to become monetary monsters!

GRATITUDE OVER ENTITLEMENT

Kathy and I decided that Christmas 2013 was going to be different. We would atone for the transgressions of the past holidays and begin to instill gratitude into our beautiful, young, ungrateful creatures.

Our plan was to buy them each one great gift. But most importantly, we decided to choose some extremely poor families with children and have our grandkids buy gifts for them (with our money), and then deliver them on Christmas Day.

When Christmas Day finally arrived, we loaded up the gifts and drove to the apartment complex to give the presents to the children. All seven of the grandkids we had at the time stood silently at the front door of the first apartment. I lined up all the grandkids facing the door, gifts in hand, and knocked. The door opened and smoke poured out over the threshold as a maybe forty-year-old woman emerged from a dark, smoky room.

“Merry Christmas!” we all shouted in unison. Suddenly, eight little kids rushed the door from the inside, fighting for who was going to get out first. Our kids sheepishly handed them their gifts, and all of us watched with our hearts in our throats as they hurried back into the front room, where the floor was covered in wall-to-wall mattresses. They ripped the wrapping paper off their gifts, laughing and screaming as each present was unveiled.

We just stood there speechless, trying to wrap our brains around the intense pain, which was somehow intermingled with this peculiar joy our hearts were experiencing.The scene repeated itself two more times that afternoon as we completed our Christmas mission. It is hard to explain my grandchildren’s moods as we got in our cars and headed back to the house to finish our own gift exchange. But it should suffice to say that they never complained about their gifts again!

THE FINE LINE BETWEEN ENTITLEMENT AND INHERITANCE

This story played out in my family, but I see it playing out all over society and even in the Church.The challenge with each generation building on the next generation’s accomplishments is that we often forget the sacrifice it took to give us such an amazing inheritance. We tend not to value it because we did not work for it, and consequently, we don’t do what is necessary to sustain it. Just as we had to remind our grandkids to be thankful, and remember that our family didn’t always have so much, we as a Church family have to remind ourselves of the same.

THE POWER OF THANKSGIVING

An attitude of thanksgiving is the only effective inoculation against entitlement and pride. So how do you inoculate yourself? Take time to proactively remember and recount the perseverance and sacrifice of others. The moment we lose sight of the historic exploits of our forefathers and foremothers, we begin to digress into “privileged thinking,” and inheritance becomes entitlement.

Today I want to challenge you  practice tangible gratitud e   and write down 5 things about the generation before you that you’re thankful for. What challenges did they overcome so that you don’t have to? What life lessons did they instill in you that you’re still benefiting from today? Share these with the young people in your life!

If you’re a parent, then I want to encourage you to make sure your children hear the stories of the generations before you. Beyond that, expose them to people who are different from them. Help them experience the world bigger than the four walls of your house.

What aspects about the generation before you do you want to carry into your own legacy? What are you thankful for regarding those who built before you? I’d love for you to share about this in the comments below! Let’s get thankful!

THE BLOG

Discover more blog posts

By Kris Vallotton December 31, 2025
As we approach a new year, many of us feel the stirring of purpose in our hearts, a calling to step into something bigger, bolder, and more impactful than ever before. But here’s a truth we often forget: often the closer you get to your God-given purpose, the louder the opposition becomes. Look at the story of Nehemiah. After years of broken walls and failed attempts, he finally received the favor, resources, and commission to rebuild Jerusalem’s walls. But the moment he stepped into action, the opposition intensified. Critics mocked, threats were made, and fear tried to paralyze him. In the face of opposition Nehemiah pressed on, and in just 52 days, what hadn’t been accomplished in decades was completed. I’d like to point out that opposition is not a sign that you’re on the wrong path. Often, it’s proof that you’re moving in the right direction. As you move into the new year, here are three practical ways that you can respond when the opposition grows louder: 1. Anchor Yourself in Your Identity Opposition often begins by attacking who you are. The serpent challenged Adam and Eve's identity, and Satan even said to Jesus, “If you are the Son of God…” Just as Nehemiah’s critics called him “feeble,” you may face lies that question your abilities, motives, or worth. Practical Step : Write down truths about who you are in Christ, your gifts, victories, and the promises God has spoken over your life. Keep them visible. When fear and doubt arise, remind yourself: you are a child of the King, chosen and equipped for this moment. 2. Stay Focused on the Work It’s easy to get distracted by critics, setbacks, or what others think. Nehemiah refused to “go down into the valley” of distraction or fear. He stayed focused on the wall he was building, not the voices trying to stop him. Paul felt this same pressure when he wrote, “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me…” (Philippians 3:14) Practical Step: Create a “daily focus ritual.” Each morning, list the one thing you need to do that day that moves you closer to your purpose. Protect that time fiercely, and let criticism and noise slide off like water from a shield. 3. Recognize Opposition as Confirmation Opposition often signals that you’re stepping into something significant. Elijah faced Jezebel’s threats after his greatest victory, proof that he had truly impacted the kingdom. The louder the opposition, the more important your mission. Practical Step: When opposition rises, pause and ask: What is God confirming through this resistance? What part of my purpose is this proving? Let the resistance strengthen your resolve rather than weaken your faith. The new year is an invitation to step boldly into your calling. There will be voices trying to shake your confidence, doubts that try to paralyze your progress, and fears that want to hold you back. But remember: the louder the opposition, sometimes the closer you are to something God designed uniquely for you. Step forward with courage, focus, and clarity. Rebuild the walls that need rebuilding, stand firm in your identity, and embrace the opposition as a signal that you are on the right path. This year, don’t be surprised when the voices get louder, be encouraged. They are proof that your purpose is real, your mission is significant, and your victory is coming.
By Kris Vallotton October 30, 2025
Redding Civic Auditorium Bethel Church has had a vision to help create one beautiful city for decades. Then, in late 2010, the Record Searchlight posted an article that the City of Redding was closing the Civic Auditorium due to the current economic crisis. The Civic cost the city 1.9 million dollars in 2010 to operate. Furthermore, the building seriously needed to be refurbished. The Bethel leadership team was deeply concerned about the economic effect the closing of the Civic would have on our already ailing city, not to mention the negative impact it would have on the social dynamic of our community. This ultimately led to a group of leaders forming a Non-religious, Public Benefit, Nonprofit Corporation called Advance Redding to operate the Civic Auditorium in October of 2011. Advance Redding entered into a contract that paid The City of Redding 360k annually in the form of a lease, for the privilege of operating the Civic Auditorium for the community. Advance Redding then entered into a contractual agreement with Bethel Church for $750K a year lease, to facilitate the Bethel School of Ministry, four days a week (Monday thru Thursday). Furthermore, Bethel Church donated nearly 2 million dollars to Advance Redding (AR) to help refurbish the Civic Auditorium. The Bethel Lease allowed AR to operate the Auditorium at break-even for 13 years. Advance Redding also was able to improve the business model, which dramatically increased the number of events facilitated by the Civic each year and greatly improved the entertainment experience. This resulted in millions more dollars of revenue flowing into our city every year! The Bethel School of Ministry no longer needed the Civic after the COVID-19 season, as the growth of the School is happening online. Therefore, BSSM moved out of the Civic in 2023, and didn’t renew its lease. This left Advance Redding with the challenge of operating the Civic without the monies that Bethel was paying in rent. The City graciously lowered the rent to 5k a month to help remedy the situation. But it hasn’t proved to be enough to solve the economic situation as the Civic is now operating at a significant loss. This inspired the Advance Redding board to request that the City release the funds set aside by the sale of land for the Sheraton and from our rents, for the maintenance of the Civic building but never utilized. This, we reasoned, would cover the losses for this year and part of the following year; which would keep the Civic open until a permanent solution could be implemented. The City Council agreed to this stop-gap solution, which we are grateful for. But moving forward, there needs to be a permanent, economic solution put in place to ensure that the Civic remains open and vibrant for the foreseeable future. The Advance Redding Board believes that the only viable option for the long-term solution for the Civic, (and for the economic health of our city), is the citizen-led Initiative for the Measure Adoption of a One Percent Sales Tax. Therefore, we have taken a leadership role in helping to pass the Initiative with our efforts. We also invested $49.5k of our Advance Redding budget to fund the effort to pass the tax, as without the Initiative, the Auditorium has no future! Closing the Civic Auditorium will have a massive negative impact on the economy of Shasta County as the events it facilitates bring millions of dollars into our community every year. It should also be noted that there are virtually no Civic Centers in the nation, that operate without government investment. The Redding Civic Auditorium has been the rare exception; and although the Civic opened 55 years ago, even it has only operated at no cost to the City for 14 years due to the generosity of Bethel Church. Sales Tax Solution The Sales Tax rate in Shasta County is 7.25% and yet the average sales tax in California is 8.85%. Nobody likes higher taxes, but we live in a state that has an extremely high cost of living. Much of this is because of the rising cost of insurance due to the increased amount of wild fires in our state, and the need to facilitate Fire Departments and fire mitigation to prevent another catastrophe in our communities. Furthermore, the rise of fentanyl in our county and increased drug addiction have also increased the need for police protection and crime prevention. This and many other factors have caused the cost of living in a beautiful city like Redding to drastically increase. Although the cost of operating a city has increased exponentially over the last three decades, Redding has not raised the sales tax since 1955. Yet over 61% of California Counties have already increased their sales tax to meet these rising costs. The other counties will likely follow as their communities face the challenge of trying to maintain the quality of life they’ve enjoyed, while having to meet the rising cost of the services that make this possible. The sales tax increase is the least intrusive way to continue to maintain and even improve the quality of life in our community. It raises millions of dollars to meet these costs. Here are some of the benefits Measure A would provide for the City of Redding to sustain the progress we have made over the last several years, specifically: Redding Police: Add 20 more officers (17% increase), which could result in a significant reduction in crime and in response time. Redding Fire: Add new fire station in the Enterprise area, reducing response time in that area from 8.5 minutes to 5 minutes and response times citywide by 1.5 minutes. Updated fire stations across the city. 9 new firefighters and a new battalion chief. Also, $750k more per year in wildfire prevention fuel thinning work. Redding Roads: The ability to take our roads from a quality score of 48 out of 100 to as high as 80. Redding Parks & Recreation: Make major upgrades to South City Park (near the library) and Caldwell Park and the new Panorama Park, which will include a gym and emergency evacuation shelter. Updated Big League Dreams and funding to update the California Soccer Park when fields need to be replaced in 6-7 years. This is a path to sustaining these iconic Redding youth development facilities so that our kids can enjoy healthy development activities rather than get in trouble. Upgraded Riverfront: Create sustainability of the Civic, a driver of $84M in economic impact for our city and upgrades to bring in more and better shows and create better experiences. Sustainability of this Hall of Fame Rodeo with increased events around the year and increased capacity during Rodeo Week. Let’s join hands to make Redding, California one of the most beautiful cities in America to visit, and the healthiest city in the nation to live in!
By Kris Vallotton October 22, 2025
When life hurts, God is closer than you think. Learn how suffering shapes your soul and reveals His presence in your pain.
Show More

NEWSLETTER

Get free digital content from Kris with his weekly newsletter