Kris Vallotton • February 14, 2020

How to Give What People Really Want This Valentine’s Day

DIVINE ROM ANCE

Regardless of where you stand on February 14th, I’d like to propose that Valentine's Day wooing and gift-giving isn’t the gift that anyone really wants. Let me be clear, I’m not against modern-day Valentine’s...I mean, can a box of chocolates cover a multitude of sins? Maybe for the short moment it takes to devour it. But superficial love will always demand more and is never satisfied.

Let’s unpack this with a Valentine’s Day fun fact that you may or may not know:

Valentine’s Day Fun Fact: Saint Valentine, whom Valentines Day honors, was most likely a pastor or bishop in a Roman province in northern Africa around 275 A.D. He was ultimately arrested, and eventually beheaded for his illegal-at-the-time Christian beliefs and his unyielding commitment to perform public weddings for the Christian community.

I’d like to propose that the kind of love Valentine publicly demonstrated was far greater than the type of love that his name is synonymous with today! He demonstrated a love for others that was radically risky, intentionally invested, and truly transformational.

EROS VS. AGAPE

Valentine’s day as we know it is primarily relegated to the celebration of eros (erotic love). In contrast, the type of love Saint Valentine demonstrated with his life (and death) was agape love—God’s love embodied. Agape love is always attached to action and is transformative in nature!

We see examples of agape love (love attached to transformative action) all throughout the Scripture. Here are a few:

“In the beginning God created ...” (Genesis 1:1) God took action and created man in His own image because He wanted eternal companionship. He didn’t need our fellowship, but He desired it.

“For God so loved the world that He gave …” (John 3:16) God knew that true love void of action would never deliver His people into lasting freedom from bondage. So, He gave the ultimate gift of love–His son, Jesus.

“ He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior…” (Titus 3:6) God’s love in action is demonstrated daily towards us through signs and wonders, miracles, healings, hearing His voice and prophetic words of encouragement, intervention, provision, deliverance, and blessing beyond our expectation.

Agape love is the power to revolutionize a life because there is always authentic action attached to it!

THINKING DIFFERENTLY

I’ve had this question burning within me for a very long time—what would happen if the people of God were actually known for their love? I’d like to propose that God’s people moving in the transformative power of His love would look a whole lot like Isaiah 61:1-2,4; the brokenhearted and those held captive set free in a moment (vs.1); the lovers of God prophesying and proclaiming that the Lord’s favor is upon them (vs. 2); the delivered who were once demonized and destitute now repairing and rebuilding the world around them (vs. 4). This is how God’s glorious love being demonstrated through you brings true cultural transformation .

Let’s get really practical here for a moment. When we read scriptures like Isaiah 61, we generally apply it to people outside of those who are in our day-to-day lives. Ask yourself this: if those you are currently in a relationship with aren’t experiencing God’s perfect love that casts out all fear (1 John 4:18), then how do you suggest strangers will encounter it?
1 John 4:20 says that if you hate your brother then claim to love God is a lie. In other words, God expects that the relationships closest to us will encounter His love through us. Did you catch the anticipation that something is supposed to happen through you because of the love that you possess?
My point in all this is to say that tossing a box of chocolates to your sweetheart on Valentine’s Day or being all-talk-with-no-authentic-action is not, and will never be, the secret sauce for the kind of revolutionary love that you’re capable of, let alone genuine adoration.

A VALENTINE CHALLENGE AND PRAYER

What if Valentine’s Day became known as a day when a revival of God’s unfathomable love broke out? Of course, this should be an everyday occurrence, but what if today, February 14th, 2020, was a day marked in history because God’s people exemplified such wild transformative affection that people’s lives were permanently improved?

What if today you set aside the candy and the cards, and gave yourself instead? Maybe, let down your walls, open up your heart, and prophesy and proclaim that the favor of the Lord has come to those that you love?

What if you chose to forgive one more time and committed to living a life unoffendable?

What if you took the time to lay hands on your loved ones that are sick and declare healing over their bodies?

I challenge you with this final question, what immediate impact would you see in your life because of true love being demonstrated through you?

I pray that you will abide in the anticipation that something glorious can always happen when you are near because you impart God’s great love to all those around you!

Kathy and I would like to wish you all out there a Happy Valentine’s Day. We truly keep you in our prayers and believe that God sees you, knows you, and deeply loves you!

For an insightful read on love, marriage, and sexuality, check out the book, Moral Revolution that I co-wrote with my son Jason Vallotton or visit the Moral Revolution website for hundreds of resources that equip and empower society to live in relational wholeness.

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