Kris Vallotton • December 27, 2017

How Boundaries in a Noisy, Needy World Will Change Your Life in 2018

So the new year is approaching and I’m sure you’re seeing a ton of advertising about “new year, new you!” It may be overwhelming to think about all of the options you have for self development this year as you’re quite frankly bombarded with all the things you “should” be doing come January. So, if there’s one thing I wish you would take with you into your new year, it’s a tool to help you thrive instead of just survive in 2018, and to choose what you focus on with intention…. And that tool is good boundaries. Let me tell you why…


Over the last year, have you answered the question, “How are you?” with a strained, “Good! So busy…”? I am a busy man and over these past few years I learned first how to survive and then, sometime later, how to thrive in the midst of this intense chaos. How? I finally came to grips with the fact that there’s more to do in a day than any one of us can accomplish. And as you go into the new year, I’m sure you’re facing similar situations. Working harder may be necessary at times, but it’s definitely not a sustainable way to live.



TUNING UP YOUR BOUNDARIES



So how do you know if your boundaries need a tune up? Let me ask you a question: Is it common for you to rush from fire to fire feeling obligated to meet the needs of everyone who calls upon you? Do you constantly respond to the expectations of other people over your needs and goals? If you answered yes, then consider this: When you live that way, you leave the important people and divine purposes (that may not be on fire) neglected, deserted, and ignored.


But the dysfunctional cycle doesn’t stop there, because eventually the neglected essential people and your abandoned purposes catch on fire! Sometimes they are completely destroyed before you can free yourself from the obligations of others to douse the flames of distraction on your own divine connections and destiny!


Let me ask you a few more questions. Who dictates your schedule? Do you, or does someone else? Do you spend most of your days returning phone calls and texts, or are you the one originating them? If you don’t have a plan for your life, other people will provide one for you. The fact is, most of the needy people and many of the powerful people around you have strong opinions about what they think you should be doing.



OPPORTUNITIES CALL FOR PRIORITIES



My point? You must set and maintain boundaries! When you don’t set limits with people, they dictate your destiny, and your life becomes a menagerie of meeting other people’s expectations while missing the call of God on your own life! God has given you a race to run, a fight to finish, and a path to follow. Don’t let others distract you from it.


We must all master the art of being deeply compassionate without letting the desires of others dictate our destinies or dominate our daily priorities. Let me be clear: I’m not talking about being self-centered or self-absorbed. Neither am I saying that the needs of others shouldn’t influence your activities. They should!


In fact, I don’t care how busy you are; you should never be too busy to touch the desperate needs of the people in your inner circle. Touching those who serve me and are in my family is part of my journey in the Spirit. I am not untouchable, rigid, or heartless; but I have decided that I will not fear people , nor will I be enslaved to them. You and I are called to serve God by serving people. But we are not called to serve people instead of serving God (Acts 5:29).



WHAT DO YOU NEED TO DO?



No one else can set boundaries for you. To set and maintain your boundaries you must have the courage to:

1. Say no.

2. Risk being misunderstood.

3. Refuse to live under the expectations of others.

4. Be satisfied at times with pleasing only God.

5. Prioritize the important things (which means being okay with disappointing people).

6. Be self-aware enough to know your needs and capacity.

7. Love yourself well so that you can love others well.

8. Reevaluate your boundaries and capacity as seasons of life change.

9. Invite Holy Spirit to correct and guide you.


This is the cross you must bear for the sake of your soul, for the sake of your family, and for the sake of the Kingdom. Life is a delicate balance, a dance with time and priorities, a Holy Spirit journey of discovering what it means to be about our Father’s business. In this crazy and chaotic world of intense need, we can only thrive when guided by Someone more brilliant than us.


As you go into the new year I encourage you to take some time to write down your priorities for the year (including prioritizing self care) so that you can do the things God has in store for you in 2018! Do you find it difficult to create and maintain your boundaries? What’s one thing you can do to set yourself up for success this new year? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!


THE BLOG

Discover more blog posts

By Kris Vallotton October 30, 2025
Redding Civic Auditorium Bethel Church has had a vision to help create one beautiful city for decades. Then, in late 2010, the Record Searchlight posted an article that the City of Redding was closing the Civic Auditorium due to the current economic crisis. The Civic cost the city 1.9 million dollars in 2010 to operate. Furthermore, the building seriously needed to be refurbished. The Bethel leadership team was deeply concerned about the economic effect the closing of the Civic would have on our already ailing city, not to mention the negative impact it would have on the social dynamic of our community. This ultimately led to a group of leaders forming a Non-religious, Public Benefit, Nonprofit Corporation called Advance Redding to operate the Civic Auditorium in October of 2011. Advance Redding entered into a contract that paid The City of Redding 360k annually in the form of a lease, for the privilege of operating the Civic Auditorium for the community. Advance Redding then entered into a contractual agreement with Bethel Church for $750K a year lease, to facilitate the Bethel School of Ministry, four days a week (Monday thru Thursday). Furthermore, Bethel Church donated nearly 2 million dollars to Advance Redding (AR) to help refurbish the Civic Auditorium. The Bethel Lease allowed AR to operate the Auditorium at break-even for 13 years. Advance Redding also was able to improve the business model, which dramatically increased the number of events facilitated by the Civic each year and greatly improved the entertainment experience. This resulted in millions more dollars of revenue flowing into our city every year! The Bethel School of Ministry no longer needed the Civic after the COVID-19 season, as the growth of the School is happening online. Therefore, BSSM moved out of the Civic in 2023, and didn’t renew its lease. This left Advance Redding with the challenge of operating the Civic without the monies that Bethel was paying in rent. The City graciously lowered the rent to 5k a month to help remedy the situation. But it hasn’t proved to be enough to solve the economic situation as the Civic is now operating at a significant loss. This inspired the Advance Redding board to request that the City release the funds set aside by the sale of land for the Sheraton and from our rents, for the maintenance of the Civic building but never utilized. This, we reasoned, would cover the losses for this year and part of the following year; which would keep the Civic open until a permanent solution could be implemented. The City Council agreed to this stop-gap solution, which we are grateful for. But moving forward, there needs to be a permanent, economic solution put in place to ensure that the Civic remains open and vibrant for the foreseeable future. The Advance Redding Board believes that the only viable option for the long-term solution for the Civic, (and for the economic health of our city), is the citizen-led Initiative for the Measure Adoption of a One Percent Sales Tax. Therefore, we have taken a leadership role in helping to pass the Initiative with our efforts. We also invested $49.5k of our Advance Redding budget to fund the effort to pass the tax, as without the Initiative, the Auditorium has no future! Closing the Civic Auditorium will have a massive negative impact on the economy of Shasta County as the events it facilitates bring millions of dollars into our community every year. It should also be noted that there are virtually no Civic Centers in the nation, that operate without government investment. The Redding Civic Auditorium has been the rare exception; and although the Civic opened 55 years ago, even it has only operated at no cost to the City for 14 years due to the generosity of Bethel Church. Sales Tax Solution The Sales Tax rate in Shasta County is 7.25% and yet the average sales tax in California is 8.85%. Nobody likes higher taxes, but we live in a state that has an extremely high cost of living. Much of this is because of the rising cost of insurance due to the increased amount of wild fires in our state, and the need to facilitate Fire Departments and fire mitigation to prevent another catastrophe in our communities. Furthermore, the rise of fentanyl in our county and increased drug addiction have also increased the need for police protection and crime prevention. This and many other factors have caused the cost of living in a beautiful city like Redding to drastically increase. Although the cost of operating a city has increased exponentially over the last three decades, Redding has not raised the sales tax since 1955. Yet over 61% of California Counties have already increased their sales tax to meet these rising costs. The other counties will likely follow as their communities face the challenge of trying to maintain the quality of life they’ve enjoyed, while having to meet the rising cost of the services that make this possible. The sales tax increase is the least intrusive way to continue to maintain and even improve the quality of life in our community. It raises millions of dollars to meet these costs. Here are some of the benefits Measure A would provide for the City of Redding to sustain the progress we have made over the last several years, specifically: Redding Police: Add 20 more officers (17% increase), which could result in a significant reduction in crime and in response time. Redding Fire: Add new fire station in the Enterprise area, reducing response time in that area from 8.5 minutes to 5 minutes and response times citywide by 1.5 minutes. Updated fire stations across the city. 9 new firefighters and a new battalion chief. Also, $750k more per year in wildfire prevention fuel thinning work. Redding Roads: The ability to take our roads from a quality score of 48 out of 100 to as high as 80. Redding Parks & Recreation: Make major upgrades to South City Park (near the library) and Caldwell Park and the new Panorama Park, which will include a gym and emergency evacuation shelter. Updated Big League Dreams and funding to update the California Soccer Park when fields need to be replaced in 6-7 years. This is a path to sustaining these iconic Redding youth development facilities so that our kids can enjoy healthy development activities rather than get in trouble. Upgraded Riverfront: Create sustainability of the Civic, a driver of $84M in economic impact for our city and upgrades to bring in more and better shows and create better experiences. Sustainability of this Hall of Fame Rodeo with increased events around the year and increased capacity during Rodeo Week. Let’s join hands to make Redding, California one of the most beautiful cities in America to visit, and the healthiest city in the nation to live in!
By Kris Vallotton October 22, 2025
When life hurts, God is closer than you think. Learn how suffering shapes your soul and reveals His presence in your pain.
By Kathy Vallotton May 10, 2025
As Mother’s Day approached, I knew there was no one better to speak into the heart of motherhood than my wife, Kathy. Her life has been a living picture of grace, sacrifice, and Spirit-led strength. I believe her words will bless you the way her life has blessed me. Kris - Today, I want to honor the incredible women who wear the title of “Mother” with grace, strength, and unwavering love. A mother is a guiding light. She illuminates our paths with wisdom and warmth. She is the gentle hand that nurtures us in our earliest days, the fierce protector who stands by us through life’s storms, and the unwavering supporter of our dreams. Many times, Mom, our sacrifices go unnoticed. We juggle countless responsibilities, often putting our own needs aside to ensure the happiness and well-being of our family. That’s just what Moms do! My joy has always come from serving others. What some people call exhausting, I call invigorating! Even when my kids were young, I can't tell you how many sleepless nights I've had, comforting one of my babies because, ‘only Mommy will do.’ Love wins every time! But love has stolen my heart over and over again. In the good times and in the bad, Jesus has always been by my side, my solid rock and my firm foundation. He has been there beside you too! That big “S” that you wear on your chest didn't happen by accident. The bible says that He will never leave me or forsake me. During all of my laughter and through my many tears, He has always guided me in every situation. So when you feel weak, remember He is right by your side. When you don't think that you can move another muscle, He is your biggest cheerleader. When you get into a spot where life feels like more than you can handle, take a look at what the Lord says about you! You are Tenacious. Your perseverance is remarkable. As a Mom, you consistently push through obstacles with unwavering commitment to your goals. You are Courageous. Mom’s often take bold steps, stand up to what they think is just, even when faced with opposition or adversity. You can do this! You are Radiant. The love of Jesus shines brightly to all those who you come in contact with, inspiring positivity and hope. You are Unstoppable. Mom, once you set your sights on a goal, you exhibit an unwavering drive to help your children pursue their dreams and desires. You are Fierce. With a spirit that is unyielding, as a Mom, you will protect your family at all costs. You are Inspiring. Moms believe in their kids. We believe that all things are possible with God and encourage our families to go where no child has ever gone before! Mom, you are the architects of our character, teaching us values of kindness, empathy, and resilience. With every hug, every word of encouragement, you instill in us the confidence to pursue our passions and overcome obstacles. Your laughter brings joy to our lives, while your tears remind us of the depth of your love. As a mom myself, I celebrate not just the role you play but the remarkable individuals you are. You are the heart of the family, the keeper of traditions, and the source of unconditional love. Each moment shared, each lesson taught, and every story told weaves an unbreakable bond that shapes who we are. To all mothers, whether near or far, biological or chosen, your impact is profound and everlasting. Today, we celebrate you, not just for the love you give, but for the incredible people you are. Happy Mother’s Day! Kathy Vallotton
Show More

NEWSLETTER

Get free digital content from Kris with his weekly newsletter