My team was praying this morning and felt led to pray protection against a spirit of suicide, and repost the blog below (originally posted on September 13, 2019).
Many years ago, I personally battled with suicidal thoughts. There were moments when I felt as if my heart would quite literally break under the weight of depression; taking my life was a tempting escape.
That’s why it’s imperative for me to tell you how I found absolute freedom from depression and suicidal thoughts. And, not only that, but to share the
vision and the fire I have to fight for my life, and for the lives of those battling with this right now.
If you’re having suicidal thoughts, I want to tell you today that your life is important. You are loved! In the same way that I’ve had breakthrough in warfare against suicidal spirits, I want to tell you that you can have the same! There is hope for you today because the truth of the matter is— God is in the midst of this trial with us! He will not leave you or abandon you.
If you’re dealing with suicidal thoughts, I
deeply urge
you to reach out for help today. If you’re having immediate thoughts of ending your life
please do not hesitate
and call the
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
at 1-800-273-8255 or the Bethel Transformation Center:
http://bethelredding.com/ministries/transformation-center
or Bethel Pastors on Call team at 530-255-2066.
_____________________________________________
The spirit of suicide is one of the most nefarious thieves to prowl the planet.
Many years ago, I was under the influence of a suicidal spirit for several grueling months. One of the biggest challenges I faced was that every time the spirit talked to me, it injected a desire to follow through on the thought to end my life. It came not only with a lie but with a compulsion that sometimes felt like it could take over my thoughts and even my actions.
If you’re battling a spirit of suicide, I want to remind you that not all of your thoughts are your own!
It would have been easy to separate my experience from a spiritual battle and rather tell myself that I was going crazy, but realizing that the thought to end my life was not my own helped me to differentiate between true reality and the false reality the enemy was trying to convince me of. I’d propose that it is not in your nature to want to destroy your life and the very thought of it comes from the devil.
TWO SIDES OF SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
The truth is that there are two sides to suicide. In some cases, suicide is rooted in the soul. In others, it begins as a spiritual attack
.
Suicidal temptations that begin in the soul are, in many cases, the result of unprocessed pain
.
When you experience trauma or situations in life that make you feel like your heart could quite literally break under the weight of your depression
, taking your life and going to heaven can be a tempting escape.
I was in church a few years ago and laid my hand on a lady who had been a part of our community for years. As soon as I touched her, I had an overwhelming feeling that I wanted to kill myself.
I knew from my experience in deliverance ministry that this unction was not my own but rather the gift of discernment in action. I leaned over to her and said, “Are you doing okay?” She said yes. I asked her if she was having thoughts about killing herself. Her glasses fogged up and she started crying. She whispered through her tears, “For the last six months I’ve been plagued every day by suicidal thoughts and I don’t know why.”
I prayed for her really quietly as worship continued in the room. I asked if she had a painful situation happen six months ago that was so excruciating that at the moment she thought to herself, “I can always take my life and escape the pain.” It was like watching a light bulb go off in her mind as she exclaimed, “Yes, I lost a grandchild six months ago!”
I said, “You partnered with a spirit of death to find peace instead of finding it in Jesus.”
We then prayed through asking Jesus for forgiveness for partnering with a spirit of death, instead of the Prince of Peace. She was delivered in that moment and never had a problem with the spirit of suicide again! In this case, her soul-pain was the root of her suicidal temptations and opened a door for a spirit of death to mock and tempt her. I’ve been in that place before when I had a complete crash
and went through months of pain due to extremely heartbreaking situations my family was facing.
CHOOSE A LEGACY OF LIFE
What kept me from taking my life was that I didn’t want to leave a legacy for my kids to have a dad that killed himself. Even though I was in so much pain, I decided to attach myself to the reality of what it would be like for them and I found the vision
and fire to fight for my life, and for their lives too.
It’s important that when we go through the deepest valleys in life
that we do not partner with a spirit of death to find peace instead of clinging to Jesus.
The spirit of death is a liar and won’t bring true relief to your weary soul. Only God can carry the weight of your burdens and bring you into a place of rest. In His presence, He restores you with His healing love, comfort and peace!
SPIRITUAL ATTACKS
Over the years I’ve asked crowds of people I’ve been preaching to how many of them have had an incident like this: You’re driving down the road and all of a sudden, you get the urge to crash your car. Gripping the steering wheel, your heart filled with fear, you hold on for dear life and then suddenly it’s over. Every time I’ve asked this, most of the room raises their hands. This incident of spiritual attack is not uncommon!
Most people do not crash their cars to end their lives, but this moment can cause questions to rise up that never would have come up before — “What’s wrong with me? Am I going crazy? Maybe I am in fact depressed?” And if we don’t catch it, we can begin to meditate on the fear that it will happen again and allow the spirit to tell us stories about our lives. Again, remember that not all of your thoughts are your own! We must resist the temptation to entertain the lies that a spirit of death tells us.
PROCLAMATIONS AGAINST SPECULATIONS
If a suicidal spirit is talking to you I want to encourage you to remind yourself of who GOD says you are, and the condition He says you’re in now. I know what it feels like when all seems lost, to not see a way out of your agony, and to feel like nobody in the world can sympathize with your struggle. The truth is, God is holding you this very moment and He will not leave you or abandon you. He can identify with your struggle because He, too, was tempted with suicide. He can empathize with your profound pain because He experienced it all on the cross.
I encourage you to use proclamations, prophecies and God’s promises as your weapons against evil speculations! Gather your prophetic words and favorite Bible verses and speak them out loud. Remind yourself of the testimonies of what God has done in your life against every lofty thing that rises up against you.
LET MY TESTIMONY PROPHESY VICTORY IN YOUR LIFE
In the same way that I’ve had breakthrough in warfare against suicidal spirits, I want to tell you that you can have the same! There is hope for you today! I declare that God has come to give you not just life, but abundant life (John 10:10) and all of His promises over your life are “yes and amen!” (2 Corinthians 1:20).
I’d like to note that suicidal spirit often brings its fiendish friend, shame, along with it. I implore you to resist the feelings of shame and tell someone close to you about your struggle. If the devil tempted Jesus with suicide then certainly there is no shame in your temptation either! You are not your temptation. You are who God says you are!
My heart is with anyone that has personally been impacted by suicide or has had a loved one that has battled with suicidal thoughts. My prayer for you today, is that the Spirit of God would rest on you and peace would fill your mind.
